Being Alone Without Being Lonely

Have you ever been sitting somewhere alone just enjoying yourself until someone comes up and comments on how lonely you look and asks you to cheer up? I know, it’s annoying, and because it happened to me again I have to write about it.

I have always been a little bit more introvert than extrovert, but in the past years I have made some progress and improved my socializing skills. However, even if I like my friends and family, I still enjoy being alone sometimes. I know people who get restless when they are alone and always wan’t to surround themselves with other people. From an outside perspective, it looks like these people are for the most part happy but I think many of them struggle with the fear of being alone. In the end, you are the only person you are going to have to live with for the rest of your life. If you can’t enjoy yourself, your own mind, ideas and jokes, how are you supposed to live a happy and fulfilling life?

I would guess that one major factor here is that people don’t want to look lonely, which often happens when you are alone. Why are we so afraid of what others think about us? Lately, I have started becoming more and more of a lone wolf. A quote from Robert Frost captures this really well, ”Two roads diverged in a wood, and I – I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.” More about this in an upcoming blog post.

What I want to say is that it’s okay to be alone even if others would judge you because of it. Your real friends should understand and give you the space you need when you need it. This works also the other way, you shouldn’t judge other people, because everyone has the right to live their life as they want, because who are we to decide the right and wrong way to live?

Take some time alone every once in a while and enjoy your own company. If this feels uncomfortable, you know it’s something you need to practice on. I believe true happiness originates from within, and not from external sources. This means you should be able to be happy alone, not just when you are with your friends. I want to end with this: you can be alone without being lonely, and you can be lonely even if you are surrounded by other people.


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